What It Takes to Stay In A Relationship...

I’ve been thinking lately about how there is a lot of interest in “finding” in our life:- finding the right mate, finding the right job, finding the right pair of shoes. There are endless articles, techniques, and ideas about how to find that right thing but am I learning fast enough to adapt it? How to help good things continue to be good, over the long haul?

Here’s what I think it takes to stay with a good relationship—whether that relationship is with a workplace, a friend, or a life partner:

1. Be Willing to be Crazy
No matter how perfect that thing or person I've chosen, I'm going to start doing crazy stuff as I move deeper into relationship. My fears, limiting beliefs, and patterns from childhood will start showing up. I’ll need to be willing to do my own personal growth work to mitigate the effects.

2. Know That This Too Shall Pass
Some days I'm are going to be dancing over moonbeams with joy about my relationship. Some days I'm are going to cranky and hopeless. Some days my connection will feel incredible, some days I may be wondering. Staying comes from knowing that this too shall pass and from not taking the mood of any particular day too seriously. I’ve become fond of the term “mental weather.” Some days I’ve got rain, some days sun, but quite often, I need to do nothing more than wait, and the poor weather clears.

3. Bring Back The Relationship, Again and Again
When I feel hurt or disappointed in a relationship, the natural reaction is to retreat and to make up a negative narrative about the way that person “just is.” The hard thing to do is to bring my feelings back into the relationship by talking about them with the other person. This means trusting that my relationship and the other person are not static, but able to evolve.

4. Take Responsibility for Your Experience
Nobody can give the relationship that I want. I can be well-matched, but even then, I’ll have to play an active part in co-creating the relationship I want. That requires knowing what is important, articulating it, and making requests. That’s what it means to take responsibility for the quality of the experience in the relationships.

No matter what happen, I still can't let it go and will do anything for you to make our relationship last forever.